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My Journey with MS

My diagnoses and path to spiritual peace

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  • Writer's pictureMatt Dowie

Your Story is Worth Sharing

On Friday night my wife and I enjoyed a night out at Prairie Meadows Race Track and Casino. We didn't do any gambling but there was plenty of money flying around! We attended an event called "Taste of Generosity" which is an event put on by the National MS Society. For the first time since the Bike MS event my wife and I were together surrounded by a large group of people effected by MS. I thanked my wife plenty throughout the night but I don't think I could have thanked her enough for joining me on Friday night. I have met some incredible people since my diagnosis but hadn't had the opportunity to introduce those people to my wife and so having that opportunity last night was great!


The night was filled with wine, food, silent auctions, a live auction, and a bunch of generous people spending way too much on wine in support of MS. The average bottle of wine that was sold last night was probably around $500 which is just crazy! There was an older gentleman sitting a few tables in front of us and he was bidding on absolutely every bottle of wine. He donated a few thousand dollars to the NMSS that night! My wife and I were just amazed at the man and his generosity and willingness to purchase wine and donate thousands. We whispered about how we wanted a retirement just like that. Not a retirement of wealth and luxuries but a life of generosity and giving. We hope to get to a position in life where we have the means to go to events like this and just donate freely for a great cause and seeing that gentleman living out that dream of ours was really inspiring.


Outside of the amazement at the amount of money people are willing to donate to a cause that directly effects me, nights like this bring a wide range of emotions for me. On one hand it brings the feelings of determination, a fighting spirit, and a greater understanding of how blessed we are by doctors and others that spend their lives trying to make ours better. We heard stories of new medications that have come out in the last few years and how much of a positive impact those medications have had on people in the room. And we heard stories from people about how they are pushing through and adapting their life to continue doing the things they love to do. Like bike riding, and playing catch with kids in the back yard. The fighting spirit these people put on display is truly contagious and I hope to continue that on to those that I encounter in life.


But on the other hand nights like this give me a little bit of a reality check. Nights like this help keep me grounded and focused on the greater task at hand. I am in a really good place physically and for that I am incredibly thankful. I thank God for that daily, but because of my physical state and I can let my mind wonder a little bit. There have been times where I have questioned whether I truly have MS or not!! I have seen my test results, I have consulted with some of the best doctors in the world, and I have experienced countless symptoms but yet I still question at times. Nights like this set my mind back to where it needs to be. A mindset of, "I have MS. It can be a debilitating disease that has no cure, but that isn't me. At least not yet. So I need to do whatever I can to keep things that way." I used to listen to ads on tv for medication that had a huge laundry list of symptoms and side effects including PML and thinking, "Yikes, I couldn't image taking a drug where the benefits out weigh the negatives of possibly getting some crazy infection that could be fatal. Nights like Friday night remind me that commercials like that are now my reality. Nights like this remind me that life can be hard.


Nights like this remind me that admitting what I just admitted in the previous sentence is okay, actually more than okay. It is important to have a positive outlook on life and see things as a glass half full but it is also healthy, in my opinion, to be willing to admit when life is hard. I think admitting that life is hard or that we don't have everything together at times is a struggle in today's society. We live in a world run by social media. An amazing way to stay connected with those you love but also a great way to post the perfect life. You don't post negative things on social media and so when you are actually face to face with someone you can't portray that your life isn't perfect. It would be going against what social medis is aying and we all know that would be just horrible!


But most importantly, nights like this remind me to share my story and to encourage others to do the same. As mentioned above, there is nothing more powerful than listening to somehow tell you how they are continuing to fight and scratch and claw to have a great life that isn't dictated by their circumstances. So that is what I am trying to do. Share my story. I don't know if my story is any good, I feel like this post was everywhere and didn't make much sense(oh well!!), but I am going to share it anyways because that is what I am called to do. That is what we are all called to do. We can all learn something from someone else's story so I encourage you to find a place where you can share yours. You won't regret it!


Take Heart

John 16:33

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