"Matt, you have MS." "Mr. Dowie, after looking at your MRI we have concluded that you have MS." During the couple weeks between when I called to schedule my doctors appointment at Mayo and when the appointment actually took place, I spent drives to work and nights laying in bed thinking about what my reaction was going to be when the doctor finally said the words: You have MS." All the signs were pointing to me having MS. I knew it was coming, but what I didn't know was how I was going to react when the moment finally came.
I may not have known what my actual reaction was going to be but I knew what my mindset was going to be! This is an obstacle God put in my life. Thinking about what I could have done differently or how wonderful my life used to be before this happened wasn't going to change the present. It wasn't going to change anything so it is time to think about how I climb over this obstacle. How do I live a life that turns this into a blessing? How do I do the seemingly impossible and live a normal life. I look back at life and it just amazes me at how God prepared me for this moment. I have always been a competitive yet positive kid. My parents had a lot to do with that. One thing I remember that kind of set the tone for my life was something my mom said. It was in the context of me, a middle school kid shooting and making 3s, playing basketball. I was this incredibly short kid but was able to shoot, and make, 3s and I think that surprised people. She was talking to me about this and said, "A bumble bee's wings are too small for it to be able to fly, yet it can." After research I have found out that science has now figured out how bumble bee's fly but it still made a point that I took with me for the rest of my life. "There are things that may seem impossible, a 3foot 5inch kid shooting regulation 3s, or a bumble bee flying with its tiny wings, but if you put your mind to it, anything is possible." I took that to heart and made sure my mindset was always focused on being positive in whatever I did. There is a myth called "I am bad at math" that is a study about people who make themselves believe they are bad at math. They tend to do worse on math tasks and problems then those of similar abilities who have a positive spin on their math abilities.
The brain is an amazing thing and I truly believe that how you think about a situation predetermines how that situation is going to go. You hear all the time about doctors or students who want to be doctors that start having all these different symptoms and diseases because they are studying diseases and all the symptoms that go with that disease. The brain is crazy! I maybe take it too far but I avoid movies such as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory because there is no way a sane person came up with that movie and I don't want to watch something that a mentally ill person came up with. Funny but a serious thing for me. All it does is put crazy thoughts into my head that I truly believe would change my mental state if I allowed it. I had an interesting conversation with my chiropractor shortly after my diagnosis. She asked how I was doing and I said I was doing good. Nothing I can do to change my diagnosis so it is time to move on and live a life with a new norm. She agreed with me and mentioned something about "the cancer effect". This is where someone who was diagnosed with cancer all of the sudden declines rapidly after they find out they had cancer. They were fine before they knew any better and then as soon as they heard their mind shifted and their body went down hill. They probably would have been better off had no one ever told them they had cancer. Sadly this happens and not just for cancer patients. The brain is an incredibly powerful thing that can literally make or break you.
Another thing I thought about after my diagnosis was the people that I had around me. You truly find out who is actively on your side and who isn't. I have a friend that came to the hospital during my week long stay at Mayo after my diagnosis and just hung out with me, I had a friend who was driving through town and stopped for an afternoon and spent time with me talking about anything and everything I wanted to talk about. I had a friend who reached out and asked how I was doing and hoped that not too many people said, "I am really sorry for you" (more on this at a later date). I had many other friends from all over the place just be a listening ear and it was great and I am forever grateful! But I was also a little surprised by the responses that I got from others. Responses that talked about how I probably wasn't doing well and wouldn't live very long, or other people with MS who talked about how horrible the disease was and it made me think. It made me ask the question: Do I surround myself with people who will uplift me and be a positive influence in my life? If I don't watch movies such as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory why would I surround myself with people who aren't going to fill me with positive thoughts? Am I a positive person in other peoples lives? How would I interact with a friend of mine if they go through something like this? Do I uplift others?
I had a college teammate and friend who had a building literally collapse on top of him and survive! He has lasting injuries from that accident and looking back, I dropped the ball. I hung out with friends that were a little closer to him and got updates on how he was doing but I never reached out myself. I never reached out and showed him support. Gave him a positive perspective to help him get through the tough times. I am sure there are other situations where I dropped the ball and it upsets me! This situation where I am now the one going through a difficult time has really opened my eyes to how I can help be positive to others going forward. I hope to never drop the ball again!
What is your mindset when you hit a hard time? Whether that be your job, relationship, illness. Is the glass half empty or half full? If it is half empty do others that you surround yourself with contribute to that view point? How does your view on life impact those around you? Your brain is an amazing, amazing organ that can predetermine how a situation turns out. Being positive and surrounding my self with positive people is my choice every day of the week. Is it yours?